297. From Sight Lost to Vision Found with Kijuan Amey

What would you do if you woke up and the world was dark? Kijuan Amey, an Air Force in‑flight refueling specialist with a promising path to the cockpit, opened his eyes after a crash to find he’d lost his sight. The story that follows isn’t about platitudes—it’s about rebuilding a life through faith, gratitude, and the unglamorous work of learning every step again.

We dig into the pivotal shift from “why me” to “why not me,” and how that mindset turned blame into agency. Kijuan walks us through the hard basics—orientation with a white cane, mastering daily tasks, and honoring the process without skipping steps. Along the way, he shares how reflection at the gym, adaptive sports, and expert coaching revived confidence and expanded what seemed possible. The refrain “give it time” becomes a practical strategy: patience paired with action compounds into progress.

Leaders will recognize themselves in the aviation checklist analogy: miss one step and outcomes can be catastrophic. We explore the power of reframing “have to” as “get to,” the role of community in sustaining momentum, and why vision is mental even when sight is gone. Expect insights on resilience, habits, mindset, and purpose that apply whether you’re navigating trauma, leading a team, or training for your next milestone.

If the idea of starting small and staying consistent resonates, this conversation will meet you where you are and challenge you to take the next step. Subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs a push, and leave a review with the one step you’ll take this week. Your vision gets clearer with practice.

🌐 Connect with Kijuan:
• Website: https://ameymotivation.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kijuan-amey-783889121/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kijuanamey/

📚 You can purchase Kijuan's book on Amazon:
• Don’t Focus on Why Me: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737036614/

Chapters

• 0:01 A Life Changed In An Instant
• 0:14 Meet Ki-Wan “Kiwi” Amey
• 2:11 Air Force Path And Big Ambitions
• 4:31 The Ride, The Crash, The Aftermath
• 7:55 Waking Without Sight
• 10:53 Faith, “Why Me,” And Perspective
• 14:40 Reflection, Gym Wins, And Adaptive Sports
• 18:16 Gratitude, Reframing, And Daily Mindset
• 22:05 One Step At A Time
• 26:08 Don’t Skip Steps: Checklists And Mastery
• 29:20 Vision Beyond Sight
• 31:06 Key Takeaways And Closing

Transcript

Mick Spiers: 0:01

Have you ever had life change in a single instant? One moment you're on a clear trajectory full of plans purpose and possibility, and the next, everything you thought you knew is gone. Today, I'm joined by Kijuan Amey, an inspirational keynote speaker whose story redefines what resilience truly means. At just 25 years old, a motorcycle accident left Kiwi blind and fighting for his life. Yet, in his own words, I may have lost my sight, but I did not lose my vision. In this deeply moving conversation, Kiwi shares how he found strength through faith, gratitude and a relentless commitment to growth. We talk about trauma, purpose and the courage to take life one step at a time, even when you can't see the path ahead. This episode will challenge your perspective on what it means to overcome, to rebuild and to choose hope over helplessness. Hey everyone, and welcome back to The Leadership Project. I'm greatly honored today to be joined by Kijuan Amey. Kijuan was an Air Force in flight refueling specialist before he lost his sight in a motorcycle accident in 2007 and now he's relearned to walk and live without vision, and today he's an expert, keynote speaker on the topic of resilience. What does it mean to be a resilient, resilient person? He's also an ambassador for wounded veterans, and the best selling author of a book called don't focus on why me. And his mantra is that I may have lost my sight, but I did not lose my vision. So there's a lot to unpack here today. I'm dying to get into this content so So Kijuan, or sometimes known as Kiwi, tell us about this life changing moment. In fact, I'd like to know what it was like before your motorcycle accident. Where were you at in your life and how things change in these tragic moments?

Kijuan Amey: 2:09

Yeah, absolutely. Mick, I can easily tell you that I was, of course, in the United States Air Force, as you mentioned, serving as an in fire refueling specialist, and that's actually where that nickname kiwi, or call sign, as we say in the military, comes from. For those who are familiar with the top guns of the world, we have Maverick and all those guys, those there, that's their call signs. So My call sign was kiwi. That's where that comes from. It's just an air crew thing. We got to have a call sign. So that was mine. It was also my childhood nickname, and so it made it a little bit easier of a transition, and I could answer to it very quickly. And that's where I was. I was 25 years old when my accident occurred, May 5, 2017 and you know, I was on a very guess, he's a really nice trajectory. As far as what I was going to do next in my career, as far as military life goes, I was currently enrolled in a four year degree or four year institution to get a degree of bachelor's so that I could commission and become a pilot in the Air Force. And I wanted to fly the same aircraft that I was already on, doing the air flight refueling and stuff. And the reason I want to do that is because they were changing planes, and I really didn't like the new plane that they were getting as far as air refueling goes. And being a what we call boom operator. It was one of those things where I was like, I don't like the way that's gonna be. It's like having a computer screen on an airplane that I'm looking at the back. How does that work? Whereas the plane that I was on, which was the KC 135 you're actually looking out of a window, like you're actually looking at the plane, not at a computer screen, and I like that view way better. It was an amazing view, and breathtaking, to say the least, with all the different backdrops you could have or in even the number of planes that could be behind you, it was so amazing. I loved it. I loved that job as far as the refueling goes. But that day, you know, again, it was May 5, 2017 I was doing work for my business because I also had a business with me being in the Reserves at this point, where I did website design and management, social media, marketing and photography. And on this specific day, I would be shooting some shots of a website that I managed, and I was taking pictures of the building. It was my church. So I was taking pictures of the building because. Is the pictures that were on their current website were outdated. There was a lot of things that were not in the picture that were currently on the church. And you'd be like, Well, is this the same church, or is this the right church? And so I wanted to update that for them and give them the assurance that I am the right guy for your job in any way. And so that day, I would also go from driving my car, because I was driving my car that day at lunchtime, to switch it out to my motorcycle to go right over to the church to take the pictures I have my book bag on, and that's why I put my camera. This was not me taking pictures with a phone. This is me taking pictures of the actual Nikon for my camera lovers. And so I did that, and I was like, Well, you know, from my apartment to the church was only about a 10 minute ride or so, give or take, that's very short, on a motorcycle. So I was like, let me go ride somewhere else. And so I take off to the lake. And there's this lake not far, not too far from the church is about 30 minutes in one way, which is a great ride, especially one one of those days, this is nice spring day. I love spring because I don't have any allergies, and so I take off over there and make it there. Just fine, no problems, and I'm just enjoying myself at the lake, sitting on a dock. And then I realized, Hey, you got to go home because we got work tonight. You know, I looked at my watch, I was like, We got to work tonight for the Air Force. And so I get back on the bike, take off down the road, and somewhere along one of those intersections on this back highway, a silver Honda Accord pulls out in front of me, and of course, I hit him. But the reason I say that is because I don't remember it. I just know that I woke up in the hospital a month and a day later where everybody was telling me all this stuff that was happening to me, that had happened to me, and I'm like, wait, what? Who did what? And I was like, No, I'm just waking up, right? And so literally, what happened was the guy pulls out in front of me. I hit him. My face crushed, you know, it hits into the car. Had to have my face restructured with two plates, actual, two metal plates. I know, the initial surgery they did on me, one of them was cutting. Can you see this part right here? Yeah, yeah. It cut me across the top, from ear to ear, and to relieve swelling on my brain, because I had a lot of swelling on my brain and my right the bottom portion of my right eye, the lid was torn off somehow, know how, and My right eye was popped out, and then my jaw, of course, was broken. Teeth were chat, were cracked and chipped. I mean, I that's just the upstairs, of course, and I'm sorry I'm not just wearing glasses or shades because I want to. It's kind of one of those things where I have to for innocence. I am blind, but it's also a symbol. But I have very light, sensitive eyes, so if you see me wiping my eyes during our throughout the podcast, that's because that's what that's doing. And any who I have a trach. I had a tracheotomy done, and then my my spine was broken, so it's now medically infused with two rods and 12 screws from l4, to t2, both the legs are broken. I have a metal rod in my right leg for my femur, which is the largest bone in your body, and metal rod my left leg for your shin, which is in Tibia. I think I also fractured the fibia on my right leg. I believe it was. And I have a screw in my right foot, and my right foot is no longer the same size, and it's actually a whole shoe size bigger. So, yeah, that's like the gist of what happened.

Mick Spiers: 9:39

Well, thank you, Kijuan. Thanks for sharing so openly that the first thing that pops into my mind here is that trauma doesn't discriminate. This can happen to anyone at any moment, and most times it's going to be something that you can't control. In this case, it's another driver the whole. To record pulling out. You can't control that, right? So, so this can happen to anyone. So one day, you're riding high, you've got your Air Force career, you got your side hustle, you're studying, and the next day, one month and one day late, or one month or one week later, you're waking up in the hospital. Tell me what's gone through your mind at this point, when people start telling you what's happened to you?

Kijuan Amey: 10:25

Yeah, well, of course, waking up wasn't easy, because I woke up without sight. It wasn't that I was gradually losing it, you know. So just imagine, you know, oh, you know, you go to bed and the next morning you just, ah, you open your eyes, wait a minute. I can't see a thing. You know, this is not funny like and then you reach for your face to see if something's over your eyes, like a blindfold or something. No, I have nothing over my eyes. I just can't see. And the same way I see right now is the same way I saw then nothing, you know, and I did hear people in my hospital room. I didn't know I was in a hospital room, yet I thought I was still at my apartment, and I'm listening, and I'm like, who's in my room? And I noticed my girlfriend's voice. Hello, I understood why she would be here. What the heck is my mom doing in my room? You know? Because those are the two people there, you know. And as I'm listening to them talk, they were talking about a motorcycle accident, but I didn't know it was about me, because they never said a name. They were just talking. And I'm like, Oh, I don't like this story. Who are they talking about? I want to know, you know. So I try to speak. Well, first I go to open my eyes, and I don't see anything. And I'm like, wait, well, you Whoa. And then I try to speak, and then I can't speak because my jaw had been broken, and they wired it shut. And so now I'm hitting the panic button, dude, it's like, and they were hearing me, you know, trying to mumble words. But of course, nothing was coming out. And with me in a panic, I'm trying to speak words very fast now, because I'm like, What is going on? You know? What? But of course, it sounds like jumbo mumbo jumbo, as they say. And my mom's like, hold on. I'm like, what? And so she comes back with a notepad and a pencil, and I'm like, really looking at her, like, are you serious? Like, I can't see anything. Don't you know this? And that's all I could think. And I'm sure she knew it, but apparently I had been writing somehow subconsciously, I guess, and being able to communicate, I don't know, but I just knew June 6 was the only day I remember writing, and what I said was, what is this act, motorcycle accident, dream you guys are talking about? And she was like, Oh, that well, that's not a dream. That's what happened to you. And I did not talk for the or communicate for the rest of that day, because I'm trying to figure out what just happened. Like it felt like the weight of the world just set in on me. You know, all these things that you really did not think could ever happen to you until it does. You know?

Mick Spiers: 13:37

That is exactly what we think we we go about life, and it's probably, probably not good for us to be worried about it, like if we live in fear that something's going to happen the next day, that wouldn't be a very good existence. But yes, but the message is still there, it could happen to you, and trauma doesn't discriminate. Can I ask? Your book is called don't focus on why me in those early days, were you asking that question yourself?

Kijuan Amey: 14:07

Well, that's where the book title come from. The fact that I was asking those questions, and I'm a faith believer, so I was questioning God at this moment. Why did you allow this to happen to me? What is going on here? Now get hear me clearly. What did I just say, God? Why did you allow this to happen to me? Because I believe that God allows things to happen, whereas other people be like, well, see what he did. See how he do this thing. See what he did to you. No, no, that's not, that's not how that works in my belief. And you know, so why did you let this Why did you allow this to happen to me? You know, like, I need some answers, like, and I need them now, because it's been over a month. It's your turn to talk now. You know, you should have the answers. You should have everything, because you know all. And so when he got done with me, you know. Know, as they say, when you when your parent gets done with you, with you, as he is, to me, I was like, Well, okay, I won't complain anymore, because I'm still alive. I'm still able to function. I still have a brain that's usable, and I'm not a vegetable. They thought I was going to be a vegetable. And for those who don't know what that means, that means somebody's going to be feeding you, bathing you, doing everything for you, putting clothes on you, all of that. And now I can do all that, you know, and that's a good part for me.

Mick Spiers: 15:36

Yeah, I'm really, I'm really pleased to hear you've come out the other side, and you're an amazing individual sitting in front of us right now. And I certainly want to talk a bit about, you know, some of the process that went along that. But there's an important lesson that you just shared kiwi, and I want to replay it to you. The first thing you said is that God didn't do this to you. I'm also going to say to you that the driver of the Honda Accord didn't do this to you. I can guarantee you they didn't. Wake up in the morning, rub their hands together and go, right? I'm going to go out driving today, and I find a motorcycle rider, and I'm going to pull out in front of them, and I'm going to see, see what damage I can do to them. There's no way that that happens. So So quite often when we feel attacked in our lives, we feel like other people are doing it on purpose, and they they're doing it to us, but the majority of time it's on it's a innocent mistake. They didn't set out to intentionally hurt you. So God didn't do this to you. The driver didn't do this to you. How do you process that? How do you process this? Okay, this has happened, but it it wasn't malicious. It was it was just an accident.

Kijuan Amey: 16:55

Yeah, you know, it's interesting that you put it that way, because I've never thought of it that way. But I do understand that logic, because I am a very logical thinker, by the way, and yes, in hindsight, being 2020, which it is, I now can say, Okay, I understand what's going on. I understand purpose. I feel like there is still something that I need to do in this life of mine. But at the time, holy crap, I was like, There's no way you guys are telling me he didn't do this on purpose. Where is this guy? What is he doing, you know? And so now, with it being what, eight years later, it's been eight years. And so with that being the mindset that I have an eight year gap of the accident and thinking of how far I've come, because this is one thing, what people don't realize I do reflect quite often. This is not just from my reflect before a podcast, before I get on the stage as a professional speaker. No, I reflect quite I reflect that the gym. Why do I reflect that the gym? Because I remember when I could not get out of the bed on my own. I remember when if I was on the floor, it wasn't good. There was a bad reason behind that. I remember when just standing up off of a couch was a task that was considered an exercise. And so when I go to the gym and I can deadlift over 300 pounds, when I can bench press over 200 pounds, when I can squat over 200 pounds, that these things that I'm is not to boast, to brag or nothing is to say that if I can still do it, anybody with the mindset, the determination, the willpower, if you want to do something you can, because I was always go back as well to sports. I used to play sports before my accident, even not just talking high school or middle school, but even up to my when I was in my military years, I was playing semi professional football, and we just came off a great season. Our defense was number one in the league. We, you know, and I played strong safety. The thing that I I'll miss so much is playing that game of football. I miss it now. I'm more of a thinker when it comes to that game. I'm not the I'm going to, like, knock you out and try to, you know, deliver the most damage and harm to you. No, that's not me. I'm gonna out think you. I'm gonna outsmart you. I was always that person, like thinking is just my game, and I brought it on the field. But I also said, since I can't play football anymore, I'm not gonna let. That be the only thing that I try. I have since Mick with the ability of adaptive sports. I have since downhill skied, rock climb, shot, archery and air rifle, tandem cycled. I've done rowing, power lifting, like I've done so many different things that I never thought I would do, and I'm out here doing it because there is a way, if you want to, you can do it.

Mick Spiers: 20:33

Yeah, really, really good. There's three lessons already jumping out for me, so I'll add a little extra flavor to the one about the person didn't do it to you. And I'm going to speak to the audience here and say we're talking major trauma here in Kiwis life, life changing trauma. Trauma doesn't always have to be capital T trauma. It can be, can be having a bad day as well, right? Could be someone caught you cut you off in traffic. It could be that your boss didn't treat you very well today, I'm going to say that most time they didn't do that to you as well. So if you're going home going can't believe what the boss did to me today, I'm going to tell you that the majority of time they didn't do it on purpose, and they weren't out to get you. They didn't wake up in the morning, grab their hands together and go, Oh, what can I do to be a real jerk to my team member today? It's usually some level of unintended consequences of their actions or omissions. They don't set out to make your life a misery. They're not doing it to you. They're just making mistakes. That's the first one. The second one is what I'm hearing kiwi is gratitude. I'm hearing gratitude that you're not focusing on what you don't have. You're focusing on what you do have, and the fact that you can get up off the couch, the fact that you can feed yourself, the fact that you're not dependent on someone else to do your life skills for you, not now, I'm sure there was times where that was the case, and then the third one I'm hearing and Seeing someone in front of me that doesn't focus on what they can't do. I can't play football anymore. You're focusing on what you can do. I can thanks to adaptive sports. I can ski. I can do this, I can do that. So you're not focusing what you can't do. You're focusing on what you can do, so not focusing the gratitude to be grateful for what you do have, instead of being measurable about what you don't have. And then the resilience to not focus on what you can't do, but to focus on what you can do. They're the three big takeaways for me so far, Kiwi, how does that sit with you?

Kijuan Amey: 22:57

No, you'd be that. You would be absolutely correct like that. That's Those are great takeaways, especially the gratitude, because those are what, usually what my reflections are about how far I've come. Like, I was in the gym maybe a month ago, and it was after a workout, and I was sitting on the floor, and I was like, I think I might have been either stretching or just thinking about the workout that I did, and I was like, you know, because I was talking to somebody I was there with, I was like, you know, eight years ago I wouldn't have been able to do this. And they're like, do what? I was like, any of this? And they're like, Oh, wow. I was like, yeah, just think about that. Eight years ago, I wouldn't be able to do any of this, you know. And so are you talking about gratitude? I mean, it's a roller coaster of emotions, because you just think about what if, the what ifs, and then you also are grateful for the I'm still here, you know, and the fact that I can come here and reflect on something like that.

Mick Spiers: 24:02

Yeah, good. So let me unpack that a little bit more, and then we might go into some of the darker days. What I'm hearing there in terms of this gratitude, I'm also hearing almost like a reframing. So I'm going to talk to the audience again here and have a think about Kiwi story and how trauma doesn't discriminate. And you might be listening to the show on your way to work, and you might have, might have a thought going through your mind, I have to go to work today, and I'm going to reframe that and say, No, you get to go to work today. You and there's people that have been impacted by trauma who don't get to go to work today. So you get to go to work today, or it might even be something that you've self imposed. You might be training for a marathon as an example, to use something similar to kiwis, example of the gym instead. Out of saying I have to go for my training run today. No, I get to go for my training today. What an honor and privilege that I get to get off my butt and go for a run today. That's special. That's special, and we shouldn't be we shouldn't take it for granted, is what I'm thinking here. So tell me. So tell me more about these, the darker parts. So, so let's get back to that hospital bed. Your Jaws wired up. You can't speak, you can't see. How did you take the first step to go from why me to why not me? And what do I mean by that? The why me is the pitiful. Oh, my God, my life is ending to the Hang on a second. What can I do? Why not me? Of course, I can write. Of course I can get up off the couch. Of course I can do these things. How did you go from why me to why not me?

Kijuan Amey: 25:58

The most cliche thing ever, and it's one step at a time. So the biggest thing that we tend to do is to try to hurry up to 10 years. I don't want to hurry up to 10 years. I want to embrace the journey. Why am I trying to embrace it? Because if I try to skip steps, I'll never adapt to this life, you know. And had I skipped steps to learn how to use my white cane? Had I skipped steps to learn how to do orientation? Had I skipped steps to learn how to fold my clothes, to learn how to pick out my clothes, to learn how to take a shower, to learn how to like if I skip these steps that they taught me, I wouldn't know how to live by myself. I wouldn't know what to do when I'm just, you know, by myself. You know, because there's not always going to be somebody there. Yes, I'm blind, but you know what I what I also figured out is I'm not the only blind person. That is one thing I did figure out, and that was one of the big things that God revealed to me when I kept questioning him about why me? He's like, why not you? You're not the only blind person in the world. You do things with that with your eyes closed already. Now it's just that you're gonna have to do things even more with no sight, basically, and you're going to have to rely on other things, such as my hearing my touch. There are ways to do things. We just have to understand. We need to figure it out. And that's why I say I'm so grateful when I say I still have my mind as far as thinking, because I've always been a thinker, I'm so grateful I can still do that. And so you know those days, man, especially when I first woke up or came to because I was in a medically induced coma, but those days were, they were long, but I was grateful that there was always someone there, whether it was family or a friend or co worker, it was always somebody that could stop by, you know, and I don't take this lightly when I say this, everybody who stopped by to see me, I appreciate them to the utmost. I am so grateful because they're the people who kept me going and giving and gave me energy to survive, to fight this thing and to keep going like even today, I still find myself trying to gain energy from other sources. Ever since this, you know, pandemic it was, which has changed everybody's thought process. He's moving ever since that. It's like we don't connect anymore, like we used to, you know, kind of similar, like this, this zoom call, or, you know, stream yard with the podcast. We tend to distance ourselves. And now it's like, I have to beg you to come see me. I have to beg you to go hang out, dude. Why it didn't used to be that way? So why are we doing it now? You know, and so it's one of those things where complacency can get the best of us. Also. I find that fear monger is the real thing. It is really a factor. But to me, not so much. I tell people my superpower is the fact that I can't see things. So when some people are afraid because they see something, I'm like, Well, what is it

Mick Spiers: 29:42

That's a good way to turn it into a strength, yeah.

Kijuan Amey: 29:45

It really is, you know, and, and I just like, well, what is it? And if I don't consider it in my mind, something to be afraid of, then I won't and they'll be like, are you okay? I'm like, I'm fine. What? What your problem?

Mick Spiers: 30:02

That's a great reframing there as well, Kiwi, so let me share something I took away from what you were just saying. It was the one step at a time. I know you said it's a cliche, but it was very interesting that you know, if you think about anything that you've done in your life, from the time that you're a baby, no one ever went to 100 miles an hour in one step, ever on any task. Whether it's you didn't go from drinking milk to eating a steak in one step, that never happened. And you also didn't go from you didn't go from crawling to running, no one did that either. And yet as adults, I think sometimes we do get frustrated. It could be something I want to learn to public speak. And to go from not public speaking to speaking in front of a 5000 strong audience is also not the way either. Start with one person, three people, seven people, 14 people. But where I'm going with this is, I think sometimes we get impatient. And I was wondering if you felt that. If you did, you get frustrated where you wanted to go faster, but you had to keep on reminding yourself one step at a time and building those foundations were going to be important for the future. Imagine if you didn't take the time how to use the white cane, which I can't empathize with, that I don't understand for a second, what that would have felt like you only you could know that and other blind people. But if you didn't put in the work to learn how to use the white cane, what would your life look like now? You'd be dependent. You'd be dependent on other people to guide you across the street and all kinds of things. So how did you, I'm not going to say, not get frustrated, because you probably did at times. How did you process that frustration and remind yourself to be patient and put in the work?

Kijuan Amey: 31:53

You know, the I started smiling when you were asking about a story of maybe me telling myself, you know, one step at a time. It was actually somebody else. And basically, what did he say? Give it time. That was his exact quote. And I wrote, I put this in my book as well. I think that's actually a title, title of one of my chapters. But any who it was my pastor, because I do play drums, and you can see behind me I have a drum set, yeah, so I've been playing drums since I was seven, and I play at my church. As of today, I do him and his wife came over to visit me at my grandmother's house when I was staying with her, and I was like, Oh yeah, pastor, I'm so ready to get back to church. Whoa. I can't wait to get back on those drums. I'm telling things out of pieces. And he started giggling. And I'm like, it's something funny. He was like, give it time son. And I was like, huh, it changed my whole like, I'm just excited. He said, give it to us. Like, huh? What do you mean? Give it time. I'm telling you, I'm ready to come back and you talking about some give it time. You supposed to be happy. But what it was, he was saying, you might feel like you're ready, just allow yourself a little bit more time. Give yourself what I say, a little bit more grace. Because a lot of these things that we do, especially, and this is where the frustration can come in, is without that grace, when we try to rush things. Oh, man, I want it done yesterday. You know that that's not how it works. That's not how it works at all. Think about it this way. It takes nine months for a baby to get before if you rush that process, it can be deadly, you know? And so we have to understand that every every moment, every every step, like you went back to the you talk about this speaking, I'm a professional speaker, so I can actually attest to that. I started out speaking in of course class when I was like, you know, in high school, but that was like, Oh, that was easy, you know, these were my peers. I could clown and be funny. Then I became an actor. I'm like, Oh, these are people I don't know. I don't know anybody. You know, I'm in different cities, different states, you know? I'm like, Oh, God, this is nervous, nerve wracking. But you know what I did? I said they are looking for what I'm doing. I'm not looking for what they're doing. So what I had to do is, as you talked about, reframe my thinking, because without me doing that, I would have been going nervous, forgetting what I was supposed to be doing. You know? Messing up the scene all of that. But really, all they cared about was seeing me and what I was going to do in front of them. They didn't know what my line was. They don't see the scripts backstage, you know. And so I had to understand and grow from that, then going into the military, when I had to do presentations there. Now that's a little different, because these people are somewhat seasoned. Some, some of them are, you know, seasoned, and they're more advanced at this theft than you but you're learning it, and so you're, like, nervous that you're gonna mess up on it and they're gonna call you out. Nobody's going to do that in front of everybody. Now, they might pull you to the side, but they would never do it in front of everybody, you know, and so the other thing it will last is that if you feel like you're supposed to be far farther along than what you are in whatever your career field is. What time have you put in? What training have you went and sought? You know, because I've actually went and paid for training with speaking from the best in the world. I'm not talking about like from my cousin down the street who took a public speaking class in college. No, I did that. I did a public speaking class in college. I'm talking about from the elites, literally, the elites when it comes to speaking, that get paid hundreds of 1000s every time they step on a stage. You know, if you're not seeking better, Mick, how do you get better?

Mick Spiers: 36:44

This is the powerful balance that I'm hearing kiwi, so the any form of mastery comes from putting in the work. The cliche of the takes 10,000 hours to be able to master any any skill. Probably shouldn't say that's cliche. I think it's just a hard fact that mastery comes from putting in the work, and then the balance is the patience, that it's one step at a time. Don't get frustrated that it's not improving as fast as you would like. But the dichotomy is it's also not going to happen if you're sitting on the couch, you got to take those steps. You got to take the first step, the second step, the third step, it's action. And pushing yourself just outside your comfort zone is where the growth happens. Then once the growth happens, then you'll start seeing progress. But I'm going to use a famous Bill Gates quote with your Kiwi here, and I'm going to get it slightly wrong, but the meaning will still be the same, that we overestimate what we can achieve in a day, a month or a year, but we underestimate what we can achieve in five years or 10 years. And when I heard you before celebrating, look how far I've come, you said, like, six years ago, I couldn't possibly have done this in the gym. And now look at what you're bench pressing Now that wasn't that wasn't one day of action. That was 2000 days of action, taking one step further and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone that little bit further each time. So don't be impatient, put in the work. But don't sit on the couch. Put in the work. How does that sit with you?

Kijuan Amey: 38:28

Yeah, no, seriously, that's exactly right. Like, that's, that's exactly how it should be. I mean, I don't understand. If you're not putting in work, what are you doing? You know what? I mean, it's almost, it's almost one of those things. And when you were talking about the the steps, you know, skipping steps. See, here's my thing with the military, especially in the air crew world, we have checklists that we run on the airplane. These checklists have steps. If you miss a step, it could be catastrophic.

Mick Spiers: 39:04

Oh, damn, I forgot to, I forgot to put fuel in the plane. I'm being silly. But yeah, yeah.

Kijuan Amey: 39:10

Well, I mean, honestly, like, Wait, we don't have any gas. What's going on here. But anyway, it could be literally catastrophic, like we have an auxiliary power unit on the plane, the APU, if you're supposed to check the enclosures of that APU, because they have emergency doors that you push in and flashlight in there to see if there's fluid or if You can smell fumes, because that's a turbine in there. If that thing fires up and ignites those fumes, guess what? Hello, boom. You know, I don't know if you ever seen an explosion, but I don't want to be on it, you know, because I would be right there with it. I'm on the plane with that thing. Things fires up. But if I didn't check the enclosures, guess what? It's on me, and I could kill three to and who knows how many people, but I know at least three, because it's usually three people on the plane, which is me and two pilots, because I didn't do my step one, just one. That's all. We'll take one step that I missed. So that's why I wanted to go back to that when you brought that up.

Mick Spiers: 40:27

Yeah, it's really good. And I think there's, there's something in today's society that we're always looking for a quick fix. Many people looking to take shortcuts. But if you miss a step, it's at your peril. And if you don't put in the work, you won't have the foundation upon which mastery can be achieved. When I was thinking there about, you know, putting in the work, I instantly start thinking of people like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, etc, Cristiano Ronaldo, for people that are more football fans instead of instead of basketball fans. What was great about them? Did they come out of the womb as the world's best basketball player in Jordan's fair? No, he put in the work, and he trained harder than anyone else, and he was there at practice before anyone else. He was there at practice after anyone else. He put in the work, and his mindset was unstoppable, by the way, but so it wasn't just physical prowess, it was his resilient mindset and the way that he could motivate himself every day to push himself out of his comfort zone. There's something in greatness where they don't take shortcuts.

Kijuan Amey: 41:36

Yeah. Mick, I got two questions for you. First off, I don't know if he knew this. Michael Jordan, did you know he got cut from his high school basketball team? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay. So the second question, what if he would have gave up?

Mick Spiers: 41:51

Exactly, yeah.

Kijuan Amey: 41:53

He wouldn't be a six time champion.

Mick Spiers: 41:55

Yeah, exactly.

Kijuan Amey: 41:56

He wouldn't be a billionaire. Do you know that these steps are what got him to where he is.

Mick Spiers: 42:02

They made him stronger. They made him stronger.

Kijuan Amey: 42:05

He wouldn't have his own shoe, you know, none of that. So, yeah, greatness.

Mick Spiers: 42:12

All right. There's been lots of really great things that we've covered. Can we want one more? And then I'm going to summarize a little bit and take us to our our final round, your catchphrase, I may have lost my sight, but I did not lose my vision. What does this mean?

Kijuan Amey: 42:30

Yeah, so of course, everybody knows I'm blind in now after listening to this podcast, and if you follow me, but what that is referring to is I believe that vision is mental. We have vision boards for a reason. We're trying to get somewhere in life. We want this in life. We want that in life. We want to be able to have a wife, kids, however it is that you want your life, whatever it is. See mine was, I may have lost my sight, but I didn't lose my vision. My vision was always to help others. I'm trying to help others in some ways, some shape, some form, some practice, whether that's mentoring, whether it's being an ambassador, whether it's being a public speaker, whatever it is. I'm trying to better somebody, trying to help somebody I used to coach as well. I used to be a coach for football. I've done youth basketball as well, and bowling, I'm sorry I did Coach bowling, because I grew up bowling at the age of five. So I did coach that as well. But see, at some point, I was trying to help somebody, help somebody be better than not just the next person on out there that they're bullied against, but be better than me. If I don't want you to be better than me, there's no point in me coaching you. If I don't want you to be better than me, there's no point in me mentoring, you know. And so that's how I view that statement.

Mick Spiers: 43:58

Really good, Kiwi. Thank you and congratulations on the success of look how far you've come. This is, you know, I see a inspirational public speaker right in front of me who has got the world at his feet and and a whole life ahead of him. And the whole thing could have been different if you had have just sat in that hospital bed and said, Why me? Yeah, let me summarize some of the key takeaways for the audience. So what have we heard today? We've heard that trauma doesn't discriminate. Can happen to anyone, that people, including God, don't do things to you. They generally don't go out of their way to try to hurt you. There are exceptions to this, but people aren't generally malicious. They make mistakes, so you need to be able to forgive and move forward if someone has treated you badly. Doesn't mean you have to accept it and tolerate it, but you don't have to blame them for the rest of your life and blaming people for your miscom. Is The sure way that you will stay frozen and not progress in life, that gratitude, that gratitude of being grateful for what you have instead of being remorseful about what you don't have, about being able to focus on what I can do instead of focusing on what I can't do and reframing that I don't have to go to work. I get to go to work. These are powerful reframings. And if you want to master everything, any thing in life, you have to put in the work, be patient, don't miss the steps, put in the foundations. You don't have to be great to start, but you do have to start to be great. Get off the couch and take one step at a time. Push yourself just the other side of your comfort zone. You don't have to if you're trying to play tennis. You don't have to take on Roger Federer in your first match, but you do have to pick up a racket. You do have to pick up a racket. So get off your butt and take the first step. Decide what you want to do, and work out what those steps are, and take the first step, but be patient with yourself and put in the work. That's where mastery will come. Thank you so much. Kiwi. I've absolutely loved this conversation. I'm going to take us now to our Rapid Round. These are the same four questions we ask all of I guess. So, what's the one thing you know now? Key one, Amy that you wish you knew when you were 20?

Kijuan Amey: 46:30

The investment advice I know now, that's what I wish I knew at the age of 20, because I would have put more money towards that.

Mick Spiers: 46:37

Good one, yeah, I think we could all use a bit of that as well. Yeah, for sure. Okay, very good. What's your favorite book?

Kijuan Amey: 46:45

My favorite book would probably be, Oh, man. What is it called the Hmm, it's about atomic habits.

Mick Spiers: 46:56

Oh, shoot. Atomic habits by James clear?

Kijuan Amey: 46:59

Yeah.

Mick Spiers: 47:00

Yeah, it's a brilliant book.

Kijuan Amey: 47:01

Yeah.

Mick Spiers: 47:02

It's one of my favorites as well.

Kijuan Amey: 47:04

Yeah, I like that one.

Mick Spiers: 47:05

Now there's an example of all of his building compounding habits. Talk about putting in the work one step at a time, but then compounding those habits over time and seeing how far you can come in a year, five years, 10 years. That's that's the basis of James's work as well. What's your favorite quote?

Kijuan Amey: 47:25

My favorite quote is when someone tells you you can't show them why you can.

Mick Spiers: 47:32

Nice one. I like that one as well. I think I, I think I needed to hear that too. Very good. And finally, how do people find you, kiwi, if people are going to be really interested in your work, whether it's the public speaking, your books, your motivation, your own podcast, how do people find you?

Kijuan Amey: 47:52

Absolutely, they can find me at my website, which is ameymotivation.com that's ameymotivation.com where you can find me for booking engagements, if you want to, if you want me to speak for any event, if you want to book me for a podcast, if you would like for me to just come and speak for anything. I do sports events, I do business events. I do a lot of different events, and you could go on there and, of course, email me and we can discuss further. And you can also find my social media handles on there. I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on Facebook, I'm on Instagram and YouTube. And I also just launched my own podcast, which is called no site, no excuses, and it's on all your major platforms, such as Amazon, Apple, Spotify, I Heart Radio as well as YouTube. So yeah.

Mick Spiers: 48:49

All right. Thank you so much, Kiwi. I've thoroughly loved our conversation. You've given us a lot to stop and think about in all of these areas of resilience and moving forward. Thank you so much for the gift of your time, your wisdom and your experience today.

Kijuan Amey: 49:05

Thank you.

Mick Spiers: 49:06

What an extraordinary conversation with Kijuan Amey. Kiwi reminded us that trauma doesn't discriminate, but our response to it defines us. We learned that people don't always do things to us, but most often, life simply happens, and when it does, we have a choice to stay in the question, Why me, or to rise with a why not me? Kiwi story teaches us to find gratitude in what we can do, instead of focusing on what we can't, to stop saying I have to and start saying I get to and to understand that mastery in life, leadership or recovery comes from patience, persistence and putting in the work one step at a time. So if you just take one thing from today's episode, let it be this. You don't have to be great. To start, but you do have to start to be great. In the next episode, I'm going to be joined by the inspirational Stephanie Chung, who's going to talk to us about leading with empathy and inclusion. You've been listening to The Leadership Project. If today sparked an insight, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with one other person who would benefit from listening to the show. A huge thank you to Gerald Calibo for his tireless work editing every episode, and to my amazing wife say, who does all the heavy lifting in the background to make this show possible? None of this happens without them around here, we believe leadership is a practice, not a position, that people should feel seen, heard, valued and that they matter, and that the best leaders trade ego for empathy, certainty for curiosity and control for trust. If that resonates with you, please subscribe on YouTube and on your favorite podcast app, and if you want more, follow me on LinkedIn and explore our archives for conversations that move you from knowing to doing Until next time, lead with curiosity, courage and care you.